I never knew you existed
I was told you would never be.
I found out the hard way
that you were inside of me.
I went to the doctor
and she told me the news.
Once there, now, gone
and I cringed at the thought.
Never will I know
if you were a boy or girl.
Having you would have changed my world.
It has been a few months since
and I think about you everyday.
I love you.
"Fire of Uncertainty"
The fire was lit
After a late night phone call
the malevolent tingling felt months ago.
Feelings erased when you were blinded by fear
Mistakes were made during that year.
Six mistakes to be exact
That hurt six times more than the fact
That I was pushed to side
When at the time, you had no intention to fight.
I tried. I begged and I pleaded.
Just one more chance to show you the truth
In every single word that I said to you.
I loved you then and I loved you still.
All I needed was an, “I love you, too.”
Eight months later, an epiphany was made.
My struggle that was once pointless,
Had finally taken its toll upon your fragile heart.
But, we cannot put our ghosts to rest.
Our knack for hurting each other
And destroying any sense of spirit left
Will be a habit, surely hard to break.
And who is to say that more mistakes aren’t to be
made.
"The Mirror"
The mirror isn’t helpful,
As she can never see beyond the edges of her face.
Only she knows its still a shock
To see the image of this stranger.
Though guys often call her pretty,
She still lays unconvinced.
And the girl’s friends who speak to her,
Who interrupt themselves to say,
“your eyes are beautiful.”
Are apt to make her blush and turn away.
Beauty isn’t a gift that she can see.
In others, of course, she can, but not in herself.
Thus she has lived in doubt and always will.
"Pipe Smoke"
A memory tied to a smell
Pipe smoke
A sweet aroma
In his hair
In his clothes
Even after he’d passed
Ten years later
Friends in a circle
Lit a cigar for celebration
Of distance diminished
Back home, all together at last
Pipe smoke
A sweet aroma
A memory of love.
"Long Train Home"
Empty is how I left him
Hopped on the train
He waved goodbye with tears in his eyes
No sense of hope left
Just a lonely goodbye
"My Dignity.."
He won’t go
But, I need to do this on my own
I won’t rise until this battle is won
My dignity has come undone
I tried my best
But, I’m not mature enough to love
"Gone, but not forgotten.."
Conflicted with the love I once knew
Cared for me
Saved me from myself
But, I’m lost again
Passion flows through my veins
But the feelings peeled away
Like the sunburn on my delicate skin
And I feel so ashamed
He was so easily dismissed
After a series of unexpected events
But, he will be missed
Even after this comes to an end
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